Father's Day PSA

Wake up everybody, wake up!

I’m coming out of the dark and back into the marvelous light. I don’t know if I’ve been missed or not, but whatever…I still love ya!

This entry greets you  before the Father’s Day holiday.  First of all, would love to thank my heavenly Father for my biological father – the late Willie Mack. I was only 3 years old when he went on to be with God, but he was a great man.  His  name and memory still lives on.  I have people often telling me how great he was….as a high school chemistry teacher, as a father, just a great man.  Well, the great man part I already knew that part since he made me and he was smart enough to marry my mother.  Every father’s day, I get a little misty eyed w/what little memory I have of him, but I am thankful for his life and the love he showed my mom. They certainly don’t make ‘em like him anymore. Rest in power daddy.

Moving on, as this post is not about that….I’m here for a Father’s Day PSA.  That’s right, a public service announcement.   Each year, on or around Father’s Day, there are women who come out of the wood works to bash, the father of their child/children.  They do it on Facebook, Twitter, and I am sure I will see a few posts on Instagram this Sunday.  I admire any woman handling business on her own, working two or sometimes three jobs to support herself and her kids. There is nothing negative I can say about that situation.  So many do this day in and day out.  I give you a round of applause (not the Waka Flaka kind) and a standing ovation.  My hats off to you as you are what being a grown woman and mother is all about.    HOWEVER, to all the women that hold it down but you talk trash about your ex, your “baby daddy”, or whatever you call him openly and in public, I can’t with you.   I know some men deserve to be handed the “Mitch” of the year award - daily,  but the biggest thing here is that that man is still the child’s father.  At some point, in a woman’s life, he was everything she wanted or at least everything she wanted to lay down with (or standup… I don’t know.  I wasn’t there holding the light).  When you speak so negatively of a choice YOU made, it says a lot about you.  Have I made bad choices, sure I have, but I recognize them as such and work on a plan/path to correct, amend, or just plain old forget about it.  I for one recognize that people do change, however, if one can bash this man publicly, I kind of develop the thought and I’m sure I could be wrong – it happens – that the child sees and hears this regularly.  Sigh…let’s do better ladies.  While there are thousands of deadbeat dads, “no counts” as my grandmother would say, I just ask that you let the real men have their day. 

As for  the real men, I must recognize all of the men, who are outstanding fathers.  Those who take off work for doctor/dentist appointments,  dads who coach soccer, football, baseball, the guys who stay at home with the kids while mom works, the father who makes dinner, the man who recognizes the best way he can love his child is to love his child’s mother, the daddy who spends time with his child even if he doesn’t have the child support, the one who voluntarily puts himself ON child support, the dad who makes every effort to be in his child’s life despite the deadbeat mom who tries to thwart his every effort to do so, and the dads that can’t part hair worth a cuss, but still manage to make baby girl’s ponytails rock…I see you.  Much love and props to the men who raise their children without the help of the mother and especially those who take on the job of being a father to a child that is not biologically his.  Hugs and love to my  “baby daddy”..lol..my brother, my uncles, my cousins, and friends….to all of you, thank you, you are shining examples.   

Happy Father’s Day.

BONUS....Want More? Check out my post from over 2 years ago... A Father Is What A Father Does

Until next time....I'm just saying. 


 

Yes Gawd

You know I really have a lot to say, just haven't been in the mood to write lately.  I have been killing myself laughing with all of the recent headlines, and I have fallen in love with my new bff (in my head), Funky Dineva.

She has all but summed up how I feel on multiple issues.  I'm cheating, but whatevs.

Funky Dineva Goes In and Let's Have -- Yess Gawd

Enjoy...I will be back to business sooner or later.

Ain't Nobody Got Time For That - Call it What it Is

It’s been a long time – I shouldn’t have left you….but at least you had a dope Whitney mix to step to. Anyway, let’s just get straight to it.  I ALWAYS have an opinion but this time it’s a mixture of religion and politics.  What is that you say, the two shouldn’t be mixed – church and state.? As long as there are Christians that vote, there will always be a mix of church and state.

At any rate, this week’s twitter timelines and facebook feeds were filled with either hate or support for NC’s Amendment One vote. Though the amendment included rights for children of unmarried heterosexual couples, rights for women in abusive relationships, privileges of boyfriends and girlfriends in hospitals among other things, many Christians saw this as an opportunity to stand up and proclaim their beliefs that homosexuality is wrong and evil. The passing of the amendment legally defines NC marriage as existing between only a man and a woman.  Gay marriage was already illegal, they just needed a law to ensure the world knew and understood that – I guess.

I am a Christian, and I believe the Lord died for my sins and I’ve made my confession. Not that that has to be shared, but I am not without sin – and neither are you my friend.  I just feel that this is a highly hypocritical stance to make it against the law for two consenting adults to not be afforded the same rights and benefits of two hetero couples. Why can’t two men get married and divorced like 50% of all other Americans? Let everyone have a shot at the institution in which so many straight people seem to fail miserably with - I’m just saying.   If we are going to establish laws against morality or things that are not of God, why just stop at homosexuality?   I’ve devised just a few things below I’d like to see the long of the law handle.

1. Low down dirty dogs in leadership roles-I know foolery crosses lines in all political parties, but these fools act as homosexuality is the only sin.  John Edwards, the favorite Democrat failure, not only cheated on his dying wife, he got the woman pregnant.   There should be some law against that.  And I’m joking here – he is human – just think why being gay outweighs lying and cheating…stupid politicians.  It’s all the same in God’s eyes isn’t it?
2. Tamar Braxton – just because. She tried to come for Miss Jill Scott. Jill innocently tweeted that Mary Mary’s new reality show is a great depiction. SHE took offense and took to twitter. Girl have three seats please. She has the appearance of a muppet and appears to be extremely vain – yet another sin. Why is this chick walking around free?  Oops, I meant free.com.
3. The title Lil for grown folks – You know Lil’ Wayne, Lil Play, Lil Kim, Lil Boosie, Lil Scrappy and a gang of others.  Ain’t nothing lil about a grown person and as a dude why would you want to be referred to as lil anything? 

Anyway, the above were just a few things I needed to get off my chest.  While the issue of equality is not a laughing matter, I just think hypocrisy is hilarious.  I love my Jesus and I realize that no one is infallible or perfect.  If we choose to serve God, there is a lot that comes with that – we can’t pick and choose which spiritual laws we decide to uphold.  I am no expert but I don’t think it works like that.  I say let people live and love as they please.  God created all of us and we all have our own crosses to bear.  Stop judging and  stop living like your stuff don’t stink.   These are my opinions and you don’t have to like it or read it.  I can only be me – the way God created me –straight – just not narrow minded.

Please check the link for an interesting pastoral view point:  Rev. Dr. Otis Moss III on Marriage Equality

Just Damn....Whitney Houston

The legend, the diva, the one and only, Whitney Houston dead today at 48 years old. (August 9, 1963 – February 11, 2012)  I had to say something, my eyes keep filling with water, as if I knew her personally. Haven't felt this saddened by a celebrity death since Michael Jackson passed on. Whitney Houston was one of my favorite singers and her voice was indeed a national treasure.

The news is fresh at this hour, but I am in shock and deeply saddened by it all.  It’s like I just saw her Oprah interview and she was oh so beautiful and upbeat.  I remember being 6 years old singing “The Greatest Love of All” with my cousins for my grandparents at their 50^th anniversary.  I can hear her duet “If you Say my Eyes are Beautiful” playing on Days of Our Lives at Bo and Hope’s wedding. I remember seeing her on Silver Spoon singing “Saving All My Love”, and  “One Moment in Time” from the 1988 summer Olympics, and who can forget her belting out the National Anthem years ago at the super bowl?  Her music is timeless and she will be missed. 

During this time, there is a lot of speculation and not a lot of facts. Many are speaking of her history of alcohol and drug abuse. I won’t speculate or judge because the disease of addiction is a strong one.  I just remember folks having the same reaction to the death of Amy Winehouse – when her death was in fact due to her cleaning up her life.  Though this is a part of her history, this is certainly not what I will remember about her.    

Whitney is and will forever be an icon…Icon…I-C-O-N. The vast majority of today’s female artists may not ever have that title.  The BodyGuard, Waiting to Exhale, The Preacher’s Wife, Cinderella, and the yet to be completed remake of Sparkle – she was an accomplished actress. She received 2 Emmy Awards, 6 Grammy awards, 30 Billboard awards, 22 American Music Awards…and 7 Soul Train awards.  There will never be another. Sorry Beyonce Stans. No disrespect to Bey, but I’m just saying.

In the weeks ahead we will find out the cause of death, but I will always remember her for her voice.  Her music will forever live on.  The movies are just icing.  My heart is so heavy especially for her daughter.

"We all die. The goal isn't to live forever, the goal is to create something that will." - Whitney Houston

Rest in power, Nippy…rest in power. 

The Screw Face --- Now Do What?

It’s a new year, time for new things…I’m pretty sure I was on winter break…well whatever you want to call it.  Anyway, not much has changed, no resolutions, same old me – the short, plump, sometimes funny, cute one. Yep, that’s me. So, let’s dive in.

Why oh why must they keep disrespecting my president? The most recent infraction involved one Jan Brewer, governor of Arizona.  Pictures surfaced this week with her and her finger in President Obama’s face….NOW DO WHAT!!!  When I first saw it, my first word was a not so nice one that rhymes with snitch.  Even before now, these KKK Tea Party and GOP members have crossed the line.  From Joe Wilson’s “you lie” during a presidential speech, to countless news reporters who refuse to call him PRESIDENT Obama. Its downright disrespectful and childish.

Holding the highest office in the land does not exempt one from outright prejudice. During the state of the union address, President Obama outlined his progress which is amazing considering very little backing from the Republicans to date. He put the ball in their court, because while he is/was busy succeeding for all, they were busy blocking.  However, as hard as I tried to focus on what the president was saying, I couldn’t help but watch John Boehner, sitting behind the president with the screw face on all night.  He looked as if he couldn’t remember if he turned the stove off at the crib.   Of all the things to have a mean mug about, the state of the union address was not the night.   People.

I just think there are other things to mean mug about, and since we last spoke, I’ve had my share of such thing.

• Serena Williams hairstylist – chile boo. I know there are a slew of my male friends who thing this chick is the business…to that again I say, chile please. Aside from her masculine appearance, her hair game is no where near her tennis game.  She has been spotted out with bad weave, blonde (yes blonde) micro braids, and bad lace fronts.  She is an awesome tennis player, and I wish I was half as athletic, however if you have more than $10,000 in your bank account on any given day, your hair should be LAID. In Atlanta, you can get a good weave install for $50. I'm just saying.
• Drake/Common beef – Seriously guys?  I love Common and I like Drake. We all know this is a pissing contest about Serena.  Had we not seen footage of Serena rocking out at Drake’s condo, I wonder if this would have ever hit any lyrics from Common.  I will say, “Sweet” is the jam and he crushed him on the Steady Schemin’ remix. But I digress, say what you will about Drake, people love him, and there is an audience for his brand of hip hop.  Can’t we all coexist?
• GOP debates - Though they have inspired much comedy, and an even funnier Jon Stewart, can we make it stop already?  Its been a whole lot of outright hate against minorities and the less than wealthy.  Poor Mitt, the Mormon keeps flip flopping on the issues.  All the while, Newt and Santorum keep coming up with new ways to insult minorities and the poor.  Hey guys, thanks for letting us know how you feel but we know you are all probably decent guys with at least one black friend so debate the issues, just stop putting down an entire race of people and 99% of Americans.
• Blue Ivy Carter – yes, she is a baby. Yes her mother is Beyonce and yes her father is Jay-Z.  However, you would think this child was the second coming.  I cannot “hate” if you will on a baby, but why was the world so pressed to know when and how Beyonce – a woman of child bearing age – delivered her child. I get that people love celebrity, but the way folks knew when she checked in to all the rumors about how they had an entire floor for $1.3M (which was a lie) was a bit much for me.  From the moment, she announced her pregnancy on MTV last year, I was overit.com. So Beyonce stans, calm the heck down. It’s a baby, I’m sure its cute, pees, poops, and cries like all the others.
• Sh*t People Say – Okay, I think I’ve had enough. Some of the vids were extremely funny while others were barely entertaining, but if I can go the rest of the week without a new one being shared with me I would be ecstatic.
• Janet Jackson, Jennifer Hudson, and Mariah Carey – now these women are all some of my favorite singers…even Janet.  However, the Nutrisystem, Weight Watchers, and Jenny Craig commercials are killing me. I understand  paid advertising, but must the commercials come on twice every hour? I know a large percentage of Americans are trying to lose weight, including yours truly, but I’m tired of the commercials. 
• Amber Rose – Seriously boo? Kanye West was a while ago.  I guess he might just have a big “ego” but quit crying over your ex already hun.  She is now with a less famous but what some would call decent rapper – don’t ask me my opinion on that cat.  She stays in the media with claims of her husband Wiz Khalifa and how great he is to her.  That’s awesome that she has a good man, but on the flip side if one wants to keep a good man, you might need to stop  whining and crying about Kanye and Kim Kardashian.  She and Kim could be the same person except Kim has way more money and dates attractive black guys. I’m just saying.

Well, you should know there are other things that grinded my gears and gave me the screw face…BUT…I’m tired, the Braxtons are on (reality tv slave), and I want to give the class a chance to tell me what’s giving you the screw face.  Leave a note in the comments.  I hope to do a post soon with the things that have made me smile in recent weeks. Until next time, be good to somebody you love, but be even better to yourself.

Merry Christmas

Merry Christmas and Happy New Year from my family to yours.

Knowing Is Half the Battle

Sidelines, jump offs, hussies, floosies, whatever you want to call them are getting a lot of press these days thanks to GOP presidential hopeful Herman Cain.  Let me first start off by saying I realize that we are all human and no one is infallible.  However, the most recent woman to come forward, whether her allegations are true or not, is one of many.  This woman, Ginger White, alleges a 13 year affair with Mr. Cain.  I will say there is much to be said about a woman (or man) who willingly participates in an affair with someone’s husband/wife.  I know that the married person is the one who took the vows, or the boyfriend or girlfriend committed to being in a relationship – but this post isn’t about who is wrong or most wrong.  I just think there are a lot women and some men who DON’T know they are the jump off (or in denial). How could you not know? At any rate, I’ve devised a quick list to help some of y’all out.  Fellas don’t be mad at me, but some of these chicks act like they have no clue.

1. All you seem to get are text messages during the early morning and late evening hours.  When you think about it, if a person is with their main squeeze they generally won’t have time for conversation.
2. All you have is a cell phone number.  Now I know this is debatable as a lot of people have given up home phone service for a cell phone. Take the information as you will.
3. You have been dating for what you feel is an extended amount of time and you have not met any of his/her close friends or family.  You know he/she has a child, but after a year you haven’t met or even seen the kid…quit playing yourself.
4. Special days/events - The holidays come and go and you are never with them. His work or office events are always the bomb, but geh wha ? You are never invited.  Birthdays are a definite no go and you seem to only celebrate a week or two later.  Wake up.
5. Social Networking – if you both have a facebook page and you are not friends…umm, you can’t be serious about being his main squeeze. Not that I am an advocate for joint facebook pages (I really don’t get that), but if you are that close of a friend in real life, you really should have the benefit of being friends in cyber land.
6. When he is with you, there is always that phone call that is taken outside of the room.  Furthermore, if he is texting the ENTIRE time he is with you, trust me he is checking in back home.
7. Do you oftentimes hear - I'll call you right back? And your call is a few days or more later? Umm...sorry boo boo.
8. Last but certainly not least - you have NEVER EVER been  to his house. You don't even know where he lives.  In what world does that make sense? He is hiding you from something or someone - or even better he doesn't want to see how many toothbrushes are in the bathroom, all the kids' toys in the den, and definitely not the pads and flat iron under the bathroom sink.

Now I don't propose to know anything about the sideline life - I just know red flags. For those of you that know you are the sidepiece and think you are the business, please explain why you are in the shadows and not in the public…Ginger White, Monica Lewinsky, Rielle Hunter, Lil Kim, Fantasia, Ashanti…and the list goes on. And if he keeps saying how miserable he is at home,  if he is really miserable, he wouldn’t be there #Justathought.  And those of you with a side boo, you never know how crazy your side woman can get – think Steve McNair. May he rest in peace.  Pretty morbid but I’m just saying. 

Sidebar: I hope to get a little more consistent because there is so much I have to catch up on. So who knows you could get two posts this week.