Merry Christmas

Merry Christmas and Happy New Year from my family to yours.

Knowing Is Half the Battle

Sidelines, jump offs, hussies, floosies, whatever you want to call them are getting a lot of press these days thanks to GOP presidential hopeful Herman Cain.  Let me first start off by saying I realize that we are all human and no one is infallible.  However, the most recent woman to come forward, whether her allegations are true or not, is one of many.  This woman, Ginger White, alleges a 13 year affair with Mr. Cain.  I will say there is much to be said about a woman (or man) who willingly participates in an affair with someone’s husband/wife.  I know that the married person is the one who took the vows, or the boyfriend or girlfriend committed to being in a relationship – but this post isn’t about who is wrong or most wrong.  I just think there are a lot women and some men who DON’T know they are the jump off (or in denial). How could you not know? At any rate, I’ve devised a quick list to help some of y’all out.  Fellas don’t be mad at me, but some of these chicks act like they have no clue.

1. All you seem to get are text messages during the early morning and late evening hours.  When you think about it, if a person is with their main squeeze they generally won’t have time for conversation.
2. All you have is a cell phone number.  Now I know this is debatable as a lot of people have given up home phone service for a cell phone. Take the information as you will.
3. You have been dating for what you feel is an extended amount of time and you have not met any of his/her close friends or family.  You know he/she has a child, but after a year you haven’t met or even seen the kid…quit playing yourself.
4. Special days/events - The holidays come and go and you are never with them. His work or office events are always the bomb, but geh wha ? You are never invited.  Birthdays are a definite no go and you seem to only celebrate a week or two later.  Wake up.
5. Social Networking – if you both have a facebook page and you are not friends…umm, you can’t be serious about being his main squeeze. Not that I am an advocate for joint facebook pages (I really don’t get that), but if you are that close of a friend in real life, you really should have the benefit of being friends in cyber land.
6. When he is with you, there is always that phone call that is taken outside of the room.  Furthermore, if he is texting the ENTIRE time he is with you, trust me he is checking in back home.
7. Do you oftentimes hear - I'll call you right back? And your call is a few days or more later? Umm...sorry boo boo.
8. Last but certainly not least - you have NEVER EVER been  to his house. You don't even know where he lives.  In what world does that make sense? He is hiding you from something or someone - or even better he doesn't want to see how many toothbrushes are in the bathroom, all the kids' toys in the den, and definitely not the pads and flat iron under the bathroom sink.

Now I don't propose to know anything about the sideline life - I just know red flags. For those of you that know you are the sidepiece and think you are the business, please explain why you are in the shadows and not in the public…Ginger White, Monica Lewinsky, Rielle Hunter, Lil Kim, Fantasia, Ashanti…and the list goes on. And if he keeps saying how miserable he is at home,  if he is really miserable, he wouldn’t be there #Justathought.  And those of you with a side boo, you never know how crazy your side woman can get – think Steve McNair. May he rest in peace.  Pretty morbid but I’m just saying. 

Sidebar: I hope to get a little more consistent because there is so much I have to catch up on. So who knows you could get two posts this week.

From A Male's Perspective

Taking a minute out to get a male's perspective from a hometown homie. Read up, comment, do what you will...but many thanks Soopa Maro for the insight.

What do you want from me?

What is it that women want? Do they want a man who is honest about the things he does, or one who lies about any and everything? Do they want a man who can admit that he has flaws, or one who is in denial? Do they want a man to care for them , or a man to beat on them.

Now days, it’s hard to be an honest man. No matter how much truth we tell, we are still the bad guy in the relationship. Women don’t want to hear the truth about relationships and the situations involved in it. They want the sugar coated, fluffy version that does nothing but add weight to the situation and makes them feel bad when they’ve had too much to eat.

Back away from the table ladies. Accept that all men are not created equally. Accept that every man has a major flaw or 3 or 4. Accept that we are not Prince Charming and will never be what you dream us up to be. You can’t ask a man to change something that’s been etched into his very existence. It’s what made him who he is. It’s what made you want to be with him in the first place.

You can’t question whether he loves you because he can’t bend exactly the way you want. The ones that love you and have issues within themselves can’t be asked to change at the drop of a dime. Not possible. And you probably can’t accommodate what they want any way, so why all the fuss. You can try, but in the end, you’re still only hurting one person, yourself.

If your man tells you that he’s not happy about something, then he’s probably genuine about it and giving you the opportunity to make a decision about what you want. If he tells you twice, then he’s making his decision. There won’t be a third time. There won’t be a chance to fix it.

A friend told me this today about what’s left of my relationship. She said, you love her because you were together, but you’re not in love with her anymore because you’re not willing to change anymore and you’re not willing to make it work. I believe this to be true. So figure out what it really is. Do you love or are you in love with.

And that’s my discombobulated rambling for today.

Can I Get Some

I was reminded last week that 99% used to be a good number.  Daily I am reminded that it no longer is so great. Most everyday I take my daughter to daycare. There are several moms who bring their kids in while rocking the Spongebob, Carolina Tarheels, etc pajamas.  In the afternoon after my long hard day at work, their kids are still there until they arrive in those same pajamas and do rags or sweat suits to pick up their kids.  Just when I thought I had seen the worst of it, I learned that most of these parents don’t pay half of what I pay for childcare. OMG!

I am happy that my child has two working parents, but why can’t working folks catch a break?  Can I get some WIC, let me hold a little something on that EBT card.  Just because I work everyday doesn’t mean I can’t use a little extra at the Harris Teeter.  I know the economy is rough and there are lots of people who can’t find jobs. I honestly sympathize for those actually seeking employment.  However, for all the folks living off of the system – go dig a hole. I am sick of paying for your kids and my kid to go to daycare.  I too like steak, crab, and lobster…and don’t let me catch you at the beauty salon or the nail shop. I might have to stick you for that EBT. We can call it even.

Check this out...Florida's welfare drug testing halted by federal judge - Florida - MiamiHerald.com I say, if you can afford drugs, you can afford everything else. Bump your civil liberties!!! If my child's dinner depends on me passing a test, give me the cup and point me in the direction of the bathroom. I really don't care what stereotype you put on me. And as always, I'm just saying.

Until next time~

I am the 99%...in more ways than one.

Unless you have been under a rock, you know that there are thousands of protesters protesting in the Manhattan, NY financial district. They are boycotting the fat cats of Wall Street in protest of our dismal economic situation here in the US. See here for the organization's tumblr. http://wearethe99percent.tumblr.com/
I support the protest and I am one of the 99%.

Definitely not to make light, but just in good fun, I have created my list of things that I am ready to protest.

1. Lace Fronts - Rickey Smiley is my hero - DEATH TO LACE FRONTS.
2. Kreayshawn/V Nasty - hey you, you are not cool - stop it!! We don't want to hear you rap, sing, not even hum.
3. Skinny Jeans and jeggings - when you got a male superstar rocking them its time to stop.
4. Ciroc - Diddy quit your whining. People were drinking LONG before you attached your name and likeness on a bottle of liquor. STHU. I am not a big drinker, but I will boycott you just because.
5. Haters - Who are these people and why do they exist? Its because you make them up in your mind and THEN you give them power when you talk about them. Make it stop boo, make it stop.
6. Triple X on your camera phones -I don't get it. If you are famous, why are you sending these photos to groupies? They will still be there and the photos will get out...Kanye, Breezy, and Big Sean..if you don't want me to see, stop snapping.
7. Basketball Wives LA - yes the whole franchise is pretty ratchet, but LA is the absolute worst. Those women gang up on the youngest cast member but take no stock of their current or past situations. BOOM ladies, just BOOM!
8. Final Destination Movies - ok, we get it. Please don't make any more of these movies ok.
9. Herman Cain - This clown wants people to believe Blacks were brainwashed to be Democrats and that racism is over. DUDE - really? I will give my synopsis of the republican candidates for pres later, but he is definitely on my boycott list for now.
10. Teasers and Trailers for Music Videos - just release the video already.

This is my quick and dirty list, if you have more, feel free to leave it in the comments.

Tar-Jay Anyone?

My first lady is so trill. Ha ha. Seriously, I love her. She went shopping in Target this week undetected by everyone in the store except the cashier. Just earlier this year, I saw her doing the Dougie. Her standard wardrobe includes items from J. Crew, Banana Republic, and H&M to name a few. I am sure she has a few pairs of Lou’s and several Marc Jacobs bags, but my first lady rocks.

"The Frankie Leg"

I want to hang out with Frankie one day. I bet she is a lot of fun. I would have to bring at least two extra pair of pants because I’m almost positive I’d pee myself at least once from laughing. And you know she has to be the bomb grandma – dancing with her grand babies, they'd be rapping along together “Racks on racks on racks”, and eating cereal for every meal…that’s the life to a kid…*sigh*.

But for real, what in the hell, man? I just saw her on Celebrity Rehab. SMH…I am sure with today’s field of artists Frankie’s song will be a big Atlanta hit. Get money boo. Seriously, Keyshia Cole, come get your mama...after we hang out.

Code 10, Man Down.

People and Facebook

FACEBOOK "It's free and will always be."  

I really wish I had a dollar for all these posts about facebook starting to charge for its services. I have over 700 facebook friends, with the number decreasing daily thanks to the newest features.  I keep getting requests from people who know of me, idiots with fake names....yes...I actually declined a request from a - Tatted Up Chedda Bob.  He REALLY does not know me...That's your name? That's how you put yourself out to the world? Ha!  Yes, facebook is for fun and it provides me with endless entertainment - s/o to the homies - but some days..a yi yi!  Generally there is the silly game or pornographic virus that everyone feels the need to investigate. If you want to investigate something, please investigate status updates instructing the masses to do something before posting. It's called DUE DILIGENCE.

Anyway, I realize facebook is a free and optional service. I will do my best to not complain every time they make a change I don't like because of course I will be there until they kick me off.  All of my friends and family live elsewhere and it connects me to them. I was social before the network, and will probably be at the gates of heaven making friends. What can I say? 

~Till next time.

New Rules for Sisters...2012 is Fast Approaching

I am NOT perfect, I however try. I wake up daily and say my thanks to God and start my day with positivity. Most days this works. I am pretty opinionated, but still very open minded. I love a good laugh and I am easily amused.  Now that the particulars are out of the way, lets get started.

First blog post – New Rules for My Sisters.  I have friends of all ages, races, backgrounds and socio-economic status…these are just a few of my observations.  There may be a part 2 at some point. As with everything I will post, you don’t have to like it, agree with it, or even read it…just keep in mind with everything “I’m Just Saying.”   

1. Shave/Wax/Nair(Neet)/Laser: If there is hair there and its not on your head, shave it. I’m so sick of seeing women, especially older women with hair under their arms.  GROSS. Hair much like fur is for heat. We ALL evolved from animals, it doesn’t mean you have to walk around looking like one…and dear Jesus don’t let me start on the hair above the lip.  It will NOT grow back thicker…WAX it! You should not have blankets over your lips or eyes.
2. You are not Nicki Minaj. Everything you see on tv, is not meant for you to try at home. Nicki Minaj, Rihanna, Lady Gaga can all walk around with poodles for a hat all day. Unfortunately you are in the real world, cheetah hair is just not cute in real life..especially when your home girl laid the tracks.
3. Lace Fronts: I have yet to see a lace front that looked real. Unless your name is Beyonce, Ciara, or Tyra, yours won’t either. You are not fooling anyone and half the time your joint is just crooked.  Sew ins time after time may add up, but they at least COULD actually fool someone.  I dive into the wig/weave crypt often, but lace fronts are not our friends when it comes to believability.  
4. Makeup: Black eye liner is for what? Your eyes…not your lips. Lip liner should slightly outline your lips and really should just be for a blended effect – not a trace and fill.  And please oh please, don’t shave all of your eyebrows off and draw them back on…what the devil?
5. Kids: Take care of your kids. This should go without saying, but too many sisters are getting that check and living it up…whether it be child support, welfare, or 9-5..you can’t stay in the nail shop while lil man has on shoes two sizes too small and has never seen a dentist.  When God gives you the gift of being a parent, don’t take it lightly. The men you date should never come before your kids. Again, that goes without saying, but I’m just saying. Some folks don’t get it.
6. Clothes: We are beautiful no matter what size we are. Love yourself first, but don’t force yourself into a size 8 when you KNOW good and well your arse is a 16. I’m just saying.  And just because they make it in your size, doesn’t mean you need to wear it. Some clothes require the appropriate foundations – bras, spanx, body magic, etc…do what you have to do to get it all in there. You can be blessed and sexy..ask me how I know.

Welcome, welcome, welcome!

Let me start this thang off right ‘chea…I am a married mother of a 3 (almost 4) yr old. My baby is my world.  My love of music is not far behind.  At any rate, I have been wanting to get on the blog bandwagon for a while, just needed a little motivation.  Well world, I am here. You can thank me later.